"I LOVE shore break!" - or "A day at the beach with Felipe' "

I decided I needed some time at the beach this week, so I loaded up the truck and headed down to Wilmington, NC for a few days to stay with my old roommate, Philip Aschliman. You might know Philip from his numerous appearances on LVM, the internet, karaoke bars, and generally anywhere there is a chance to act ridiculous.

Philip also has the uncanny ability to get me to do stupid, ignorant things when we are together…..today was no exception……

We went out to the beach this evening, Philip can’t surf right now because he has a broken wrist from doing some silly triple-double-flip-a-do thing on his skateboard a few months ago, so he agreed to shoot some photos……my first mistake.

The surf was pretty small, and really sloppy, and combined with the wind, pretty terrible overall. But, I came all this way to get some ocean-time, so I decided to go out and fool around in my Orbit Fish (normally I’d take out my Spyder surf boat, but drastic conditions call for drastic measures).

I went out and it was pretty much as terrible as I’d expected. I got a few good blunts, and a loop onto a wave, but otherwise I was just paddling in the wind.

Apparently this was boring Philip about as much as it was boring me, so he got my attention, and I surfed up to the shore. “I want to see you tearing up this shore break! Right here,” he commanded, pointing to the beach. He sounded like a basketball coach trying to motivate his team to win the big game.....I got inspired. For those of you who aren’t surf-inclined, shore break is the steep thumping crash of waves directly on the beach. Shore break on the east coast is legendary, often cringe-worthy, and when combined with a steep shoreline such as the one I was surfing today, brutal. The action of the shore break exploding onto the beach creates a dumping effect that sprays sand, bits of shell, and other nastiness all over the place.

Philip wanted a shore break extravaganza, and I was determined to give it to him. So I began dropping on the shore break waves, throwing bouncing blunts right onto the sand. Seeing as the Orbit Fish will pretty much blunt on its own, and the shore break was the only spot in the surf today that was actually steep enough to get a good blunt on, I was actually getting some nice vertical moves, often bouncing directly off the sand, and landing on the beach. With each tenuous drop in, Philip’s demands for “more more more” were like a mantra driving me onward. He kept picking out the nastiest drops and cheering with enthusiasm as I kept paddling out for more, and whenever I’d try to come in, he’d push me right back out.

As you might imagine, this exercise was exhausting, and finally I succumbed to the vile nature of the shore break and landed a blunt right on my head, facedown in the sand.

Our friend Andy was at the beach with his dog, who, unbeknownst to me, must be enrolled in some sort of Siberian Husky Lifeguard training program. Upon seeing me writhing face down in the sand, he sprang to my rescue, a sort of modern day Lassie story…..”What’s that girl?....Joey’s stuck in the shorebreak?...Go get him girl!”

As you can see from the humiliating photos, it was pretty funny, and as I’m one to laugh at myself as loud as anyone else, I’ve posted them there for everyone to enjoy…..I wouldn’t suggest trying this at home, because landing on your head in sand still hurts….and I’ll be picking shells out of my hair and teeth for the next week.

I’ll be here for a few more days, so I promise I’ll try to get some more legit surf kayaking to post if the waves get here…… -Joey